The Muffin Man
by Atopos
Summary: Do you know the Muffin Man..." After listening to a favourite childhood nursery rhyme, Hiei's thought wander to one of his past life-changing experiences. Warning: might be YAOI! is dedicated to Ookami Ale.


Atopos - It's definitely been awhile since I've written anything for the Yu Yu Hakusho world. This oneshot is dedicated to Ookami Ale who suggested a story where Hiei meets the Muffin Man or at least heard the song. It's a little different, I think, from what she wanted, but I followed through (finally).

Hope it's enjoyed by someone! Please R&R, because I might do another rhyme since this one brought many ideas. Warning: might be seen as yaoi, but it could also be seen as very close friendship.

I own nothing, but the three Urameshi kids. I made them up years ago

The Muffin Man

'Oh, do you know the Muffin Man,  
The muffin man, the Muffin Man,  
Oh, do you know the Muffin Man,  
That lives on Drury Lane?'

The small girl in Kurama's lap clapped happily, giggling, at the sight of muffins lining shelves and a boy staring wide-eyed at them all in her picture book. Kurama turned the page slowly, allowing the child to take in every aspect of the book as he did so. He knew it was going to affect him in someway giving Kana – Yusuke and Keiko's first and only daughter – a nursery rhyme book unlike the toys he had given their first two children. Now he was stuck reading them (not that he minded, of course) while Keiko took her older children to the clinic and Yusuke worked for the afternoon.

The only other person affected by the change in their schedule was the rather sulky fire demon sitting on the arm of the couch. Hiei didn't like children too much. They were needy creatures that seemed to feed on the attention of any adult in the area. They were much like small demons that could suck the life right out of someone's body. That someone seemed to be Kurama now. And the fox wasn't used to having young children around for so long.

Kana hastily smacked the book with her tiny hand and it fell from Kurama's lap. She shuffled around in a fussy manner until Kurama gave in and placed her on the floor by his feet. He watched good-naturedly as she crawled around quickly, heading for the spare bedroom where all her stuffed toys were hiding.

"Kana is a sweet little girl, isn't she, Hiei?" Kurama smiled softly over at the demon not far from his side. "I suppose she'll be very smart."

Hiei rolled his eyes at the sentimentality, leaning over so his fingers just barely grazed the spine of the picture book. Kurama might have put his name on the card that came with the gift, but that didn't mean he'd seen the thing. Carefully he picked the book up on the second try and placed it in his own lap. "What the hell do these mean?"

"Mmm?" Kurama sighed tiredly. The bags under his eyes were an indication of how well he had slept since the five month old had landed in his care. "The characters or the stories?"

"The stories obviously," Hiei replied. "I can read perfectly fine. And it's not as if I haven't been paying attention to every one you've read. It feels as if you've gone through the entire book just this morning."

Kurama nodded in complete agreement. "That's for sure. I don't remember Benjiro and Hideaki being like this. They were always more interested in eating or playing."

Hiei snorted. "Look what that's got them into. The woman had to take Hideaki in for a cold and Benjiro broke his arm on the stupid swing set." His expression turned sour when he realized they had gotten off topic and were talking about their 'nephews'. "Back to the book, fox."

Kurama sighed again. "Well, the one I just read to her was about the Muffin Man. It's this old tale about a baker who lived on Drury Lane that baked the best muffins, I suppose. Bear with me, Hiei; it's been awhile since I've even heard of the old rhyme. It's mostly a man in a bakery who gives food to children out of the kindness of his own heart."

"Don't kids know that it's only their parents who can ever like them that much?"

"So, you're saying that there's no one in the world besides parents who can give children something without ever wanting something back? I cook for you, Hiei. Do I ever ask for something in return?"

Hiei glowered at the fox demon. The argument died on his lips. Kurama was already too tired to deserve his best fight with words. Instead he tossed the book to the couch between him and Kurama.

"Another thing, why do you insist on getting her things that she can't read herself?" Hiei asked irritably. "She seems happy enough sucking on pillows and crying."

Kurama backtracked to the question and answered the best he could, "I believe she'll grow old with them. Maybe she'll grow to like books, unlike Yusuke. Maybe she'll keep the book until she's old enough to understand them without any help. Can't you remember things like that, Hiei?"

Hiei's red eyes narrowed slightly. Maybe Kurama was more awake than he previously thought. He jumped from the arm of the couch to his feet and started for the bedroom. "Go to hell, fox. You know I never had any cozy family related situations when I was growing up. Not everyone had such loving homes like you did."

Kurama's lips tightened sadly. His mind might have been still half asleep, but he still knew that the rest of the afternoon would be him with the small girl. Hiei would spend it sleeping in the large, clean bed.

Damn fox, Hiei thought to himself, trying to avoid slamming the door. He jumped onto the bed in one smooth move. Should sleep until tomorrow morning. Make him have no sleep or energy to deal with anything. That'll teach him.

He closed his eyes, a smirk in place. Teasing the fox in such a cruel way would likely end him sleeping on the couch for about a week, but it would be worth it. In the mean time, Hiei planned to sleep, to rest his mind. Listening to Kurama handle a child with no patience left would always make for some fun in an otherwise boring life.

Hiei couldn't remember falling asleep exactly, but he couldn't think of any other reason his life would be so…colourful. Unless he'd finally gone crazy, which was possible. He was also outside instead of on the bed. The streets were paved in yellow stone, the houses had large flowers decorating them, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. In other words, it was disgusting.

Then there was the most dreadful noise Hiei had ever heard in his life: the laughter…of children. He turned around sharply, catching the ridiculous sight of the three Urameshi children skipping merrily down the street humming the exact same tune. There was Kana, in-between her two brothers, moving just as well as they could. Benjiro's arm was fully healed and Hideaki – still in his pajamas – but still out and walking. Hiei moved to the side to let the kids go by, but listened to the words:

'Oh, do you know the Muffin Man,  
The muffin man, the Muffin Man,  
Oh, do you know the Muffin Man,  
That lives on Drury Lane?'

The first thought had been, Damn that fox for forcing that on me. But the more he thought about it, the more Hiei wanted to see where the kids went, what the Muffin Man really was to them.

At a much slower pace, Hiei followed.

Not skipping.

The people outside waved to him happily as they did their chores.

Hiei did not wave back at all.

The kids turned down another street, leading him farther into town. There were stores on either side of the street, but, as per usual, Hiei never had money with him, mostly because it rattled in his pockets and gave his position away.

The three finally stopped at a bakery. At this point, Hiei knew what was going on. He wasn't stupid like other people he knew. He only prayed that –

"Welcome, children!" A rather energetic redheaded fox showed his loving face, opening a large window so the kids could see his entire bakery. "Please, eat what you will."

Hiei stared at him in disgust. Did the fox have no pride? Cleary, he didn't in the fire demon's mind. After weighing his options, Hiei decided to go along with the children; it wasn't as if he had much to lose in his dreams.

"Hey!" The dream Kurama waved cheerfully over at Hiei. For the first time, Hiei noticed the pink apron and the sugary sweet smile. This was a little overdoing it, especially in his dreams. Nonetheless, Hiei's curiosity got the better of him. He sauntered over to Kurama's opened window, stepping in front of the kids and listening to their moans of protest. Kurama's smile only grew bigger. "I've never seen you around these parts. And you look so different from everyone else around here. You up to something strange?"

Hiei felt like saying that it was none of his business, but what would it solve? This Kurama was just as smart as the one in the real world. The only difference being that this one was part of his mind; therefore, it could read it faster. "I just followed them here."

Kurama sighed in disappointment. "Too bad. I was hoping you were here looking for some adventure. Nothing interesting ever happens. All I do everyday is make muffins, sell them to people, and do the same thing the next day. That's been my life everyday for…hundreds of years, I guess."

Hiei stared blankly at him. This was definitely getting to be too much. He knew where this was leading. This was almost like the second time he met up with Kurama. Talking to him about a boring, human life, where all he did was the same thing over and over again. "You can come with me, I suppose," Hiei suggested stiffly. His thoughts shifted to when he met Kurama for the first time, the second time, and every other time after that. "I'm not too good with cooking, and healing injuries, and…" What else could he say to someone he was supposedly meeting for the first time even though he already knew him? Kurama also did laundry, and making the bed, and cleaning all the rooms, and so on.

The fox laughed politely as if he knew what Hiei was thinking, his green eyes sparkling with amusement. "I would be honoured to walk beside you, but are you sure you want a common Muffin Man to be by your side? There're better people to fight for you."

Hiei shrugged. "I don't care either way. I chose you to come with me. If you say no, I won't force you to come, but I won't find someone else."

"Sounds fine," Kurama agreed. "I might disappoint many in leaving with you, but I do what I must. Besides, it's not like being a Muffin Man makes much money."

"Yeah, I'm sure being a thief like me will allow you to buy all the latest fashions."

"You can be so cruel sometimes…"

Hiei snorted awake. He couldn't believe his mind had come up with that one. What had happened to the dreams of killing Kuwabara to make Yukina happy? What about the ones with him sitting at the top of the world with humans as slaves? What about the tamer ones where all he could do was walk up to Mukuro and tell her where to get off? Maybe Kurama was ruining him in the oddest ways possible.

The demon tumbled out of the bed, hoping Kana would still be off playing or napping. There were no noises of a happy child coming from anywhere in the house but the spare room she occupied. Kurama's humming came from the kitchen where the smell of baking wafted in Hiei's direction.

Hiei followed the smell until he spotted Kurama – in an apron, of course – pulling out trays of the muffins he had just dreamt about. "What the hell are you doing?"

Kurama looked over a shoulder, smiling slightly. "Well, Kana knows the story well enough; I thought it would be nice to let her tear apart a muffin of her own. Would you like one?"

Hiei took the still hot tray, ignoring the burn that would cause humans to cry or drop the tray to the floor, and snatched a muffin. He stared at it until it deemed it safe enough to eat. "Did you know what I was thinking about while sleeping?"

"Oh, Hiei," Kurama chuckled in an almost girly fashion. "Not while Kana's here. Keiko would never forgive us."

"Pervert." Hiei ignored giving the comment a nasty rebuttal about fox's libidos and took a bite of the muffin.

Yeah, he could definitely see Kurama as a Muffin Man, working hard everyday for small children and the elderly. Up to the point where some younger demon would come and take him away from such a life. The poem might have been cheery for young kids such as Kana, but they didn't need to know that the life of a thief with another – even stronger, brilliant, more beautiful – thief was a far better way to spend time.

"Hiei, shall I tell you another story? It doesn't have to be about the muffin man this time. It could be about two beings thrown together by fate."

Oh, yes, I know the Muffin Man,  
The muffin man, the Muffin Man,  
Oh, yes, I know the Muffin Man,  
That lives on Drury Lane.

- Atopos


End file.
